Do Animals Grieve As Humans Do?
How does your pet feel when a companion dies?
None of the animals that we generally keep as pets are as neurologically developed as whales, some primates or elephants, those animals that are the closest to humans and have been observed to have some particular forms of behaviour when one of their group dies but this is not to say that our pets are not affected by the loss of companions in various ways. But evidence of this mainly anecdotal and open to misinterpretation. In truth we do not know.
While our own grief at the loss of an animal companion is undeniable it is perhaps wrong to think that our animals have the capacity to grieve as we do.
How does a pet react when a companion dies?
The surviving pet may well show signs of disorientation, (particularly if the household itself has had a change of routines following the death of an animal), have a sense that something is lost, experience stress owing to changes in routine – which may lead to loss of appetite for example, when a companion animal or even a human carer dies, (or indeed simply leaves the family home).
As well as dealing with the above self generated ‘feelings’, as animals are sensitive to their surroundings, your pet may be confused by your behaviour if you are upset and seek attention if you are making them feel unsettled. The experts advise that it is not wise to reward this reaction by giving them extra treats etc. This may reinforce attention seeking as habitual in the animal, and while this in turn may make you feel more needed and lead you to believe that you are suffering together, this newly established behaviour pattern, does not mean that your pet is feeling what you are feeling in terms of grief.
Bear in mind that although it may be unpalatable for you to think, so your surviving pet may be content in its new role as the new centre of attention and top of the hierarchy, if it formerly held a subversive position (as a younger dog might well have done if living with an older, for example). A cat might seem to be lingering lovingly in the spot where the dead companion cat used to sit – but it might just be enjoying being able to have this spot for itself.
Don’t read too much into more subdued behaviour either. A dog who had enjoyed a noisy, lively existence with his pal, where they sparked off each other, may be more quieter after its pal’s death not because it is grieving, but because it is in its nature to be like that when alone.
How you can help your surviving pet
Research has shown, however, that if the surviving pet is allowed to see the dead companion’s body this may help it to understand what has happened and perhaps prevent the survivor from rather continually looking for its friend, maybe thinking it has gone out for a walk and will come back at any time. This ‘ritual’ is perhaps most important when two pets have been very close and/or have been so over many years.
In order to help your surviving pet recover its equilibrium and move on, we suggest that you establish a new stable routine as soon as possible, offer one or two treats but do not reward unhealthy behaviour in your pet (such as its temporarily not eating regular proper meals, for example). For dogs, lots of walks, and for dogs and cats and others, a bit of extra attention (coaxing and talking to your pet) and some fun game playing will also help the animal to settle down (and may help to keep you occupied).
Your pet will miss the presence and scent of their companion, they may take a few weeks or months to adjust, but they are unlikely to be grieving and certainly cannot comprehend feelings that are often part of human grief. Perhaps you have feelings of guilt (you made the decision to have your pet put down for example, or your pet slipped out of the house and got knocked down) or you may feel regret (if only you had taken it to the vet sooner….). It is understood that animals do not experience this type of perception.
If you are finding grieving difficult to bear – seek human support
Animals’ ability to live intensely and joyously in the moment is part of why their companionship is so good for humans and, after all, why would you want to wish something as dreadful as human grief onto your beloved pet? If you have come to this article hoping for some help with the loss of a pet please see our article on coping with grief over a pet’s death, for some ideas to help you cope and to find out more about help and support available during this very difficult time. You are certainly not alone in the human world.
Article by: The Pet Owners Association
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